I was scrolling through my Instagram feed last night week and I saw a post that made me cringe. (I have recently very curated my following list to have the voices I respect and look up to, the friends I enjoy sharing life with digitally, faith based accounts sharing scripture and church news, food bloggers and recipe creators, and a mini handful of brands. ) A post came up from a brand I strongly admire that shows a short video of a woman mixing the brands tags in a pan and says “what my family is having for dinner after all the clothes I bought from brand X” – This lighthearted message is was a shareable joke and maybe it’s silly to bring up to some but I think that messages like this have permeated our world with the “treat yourself” attitude.

A similar sentiment was shared years ago on a a Facebook page for a clothing brand I was pretty much obsessed with at the time – a similar post with a picture of ramen noodles. I remember recoiling at the joke then. Yes, it’s a joke – I do not assume that most people actually reduce the quality of their families diets to buy luxuries – but I still am disturbed by the trend. What does it say that we laugh because this is a collective and common experience – we overbuy and we may even suffer relational, financial, or spiritual setbacks but we can laugh at the meme.

My own struggles with financial stewardship have led me in the not so distant past to put inordinate attention to acquisition of new clothing, bags etc. and my soul suffered. I started to slowly to use my purchases to self soothe and to give myself a sense of false identity. Fast forward to now and I am in radically honest communication with my husband about purchases above a $100 threshold (non essential) , this pretty much goes both ways. We each budget pocket money of our own and we are trying to grow in alignment by checking in. I appreciate being able to buy new thugs and still do but the rate and frequency of new purchases is a fraction of how I was before, I am in a season where each new thing is more appreciated and savored.

I truly believe I’ve been empowered through the Holy Spirit to be more discerning – I do make dumb purchases every once in a while still but dramatically less. I am less swayed by sales, marketing and the hype machine than I was even 6 months ago, and I am more likely to talk to my husband about future plans or shared goals as way to refocus the “wanting” to future dreams. I’ve also been deeply convicted to become more generous and to see all resources as belonging not to us but to the Lord. Seeing money as not just a tool to satisfy momentary and fleeting wants but as kingdom tools is life giving.

So what is the answer to the normalization of overspending, financial dishonesty, yolo, and “girl math” – well I think the answer is simple and also a lifelong journey of daily conversion- reorienting your life’s meaning from what you own to who you are – a Child of the most high king, and perhaps unfollowing a few triggering accounts who make you want to buy buy buy!